Sexuality and sensuality are basic human needs and perhaps even basic human rights. We all need affection: it’s been suggested that babies in orphanages die when they do not receive enough touch. The first thing we do when we are born is to connect physically to our mothers and caregivers. But beyond touch, we have many senses, and through these we interact with the world and each other.

My husband Tom and I express our sexuality openly. We kiss in public, hold hands on long walks, and are playful with each other. When we dance closely, we embrace each other tightly, our bodies complement each other, and we communicate nonverbally. We seek sensual adventures by finding nude beaches and skinny-dipping in the ocean or dressing sexy for each other’s visual pleasure. These expressions, and others, are a natural part of our lives.

Not all sensual moments need to be obvious; sometimes appreciating the finer things in life is all it takes. Tasting the silky flavors of fine chocolate followed by a sip of red wine, perhaps a Petite Syrah or better yet, Port, and delight in the flavors rolling over your tongue.  Enjoying an evening at the symphony or the ballet: letting the music tickle your ears as the sounds of the various instruments interact with each other, noticing the melodies and themes weaving their way in and out of the piece of music, and watching as the dancers find the right moment to move as though the music was designed for their dance and not the other way around.

And even more, sensuality can be found in simple pleasures (which is probably why day spas are so popular). Taking the time to relax and really enjoy a manicure, or a massage… I’ve even seen women close their eyes in bliss when getting their hair washed at the hairdresser. Eating ice cream in a Jacuzzi and feeling both hot and cold at the same time. Waking up to the sounds of birds outside your window. Sitting on the beach watching the sun set over the ocean, bathing in yellows and oranges, listening to the screech of gulls, smelling the salty air, feeling the sand between your toes and the wind on your face.

Sensuality works only when you take the time to appreciate it. This beautiful world is full of wonder. Take a moment to enjoy it.